Oh no, my co-worker just said he's really excited for the 2019 World Cup

It doesn't work that way.
(Shutterstock / Pressmaster)

This is extremely awkward, everyone.

I'm sitting at my desk and I just heard my co-worker, Derek, say that he can't wait until next year's World Cup.

Yes, the World Cup of soccer.

No, I know that doesn't exist next year.

I… I could see him getting really into it as it went.

I knew he was new to the whole thing. I just thought he… knew the basics.

Is anyone going to tell him? I'm not going to tell him. How could you?

Oh god, he just said "I know my Sweden is out."

My Sweden.

He literally learned Sweden has a soccer team 3 weeks ago, the same day he learned that there was a thing called the World Cup. He became a strong supporter of Sweden when he learned that neither his mom's homeland of the Netherlands or his dad's homeland of… Etobicoke were in this year's World Cup.

"But the lads played strong the whole way through, and I truly believe they'll be able to maintain that momentum for the next 365 days."

OH GOD NO, our manager just said "What do you mean? Why is 365 days relevant?" Doesn't he know what's happening here here? Or does he just not care about breaking the horrible news?

"Oh, everything's relevant for our squad," Darryl said.

Okay. Disaster avoided.

Hmm. Maybe I can break it to him really gently.

Something like, "Hey, we'll have to catch the 2022 World Cup together! It was fun this year, can't wait to watch it with you then. When it happens again."

Yeah, that sounds good. I'm gonna do that. Will check back here in a moment.

Oh no.

"Uh, sure, Katherine," he said. "That's pretty far down the road, though, don't you think?"

Yes, I thought. That's right, Derek. Get there, get there…

"We should probably make plans for the next three first. Where is next year's anyway?"

Nope. It was never going to be that easy. I knew what I had to do.

And then I said, "Hm, not totally sure. Somewhere in Europe I think?"

I couldn't break it to him! You didn't see the expectant look on his face.

"Great!" he said. "See you at the pub for Game 1. If Lady Sweden qualifies again. Just kidding of course, She's a lock."

I can only presume he put a capital S on that "she."

"See you there!" I said.

Oh well. This will be fine. This will turn out okay.

I have 364 days to find a new job.

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About the Author

Jeremy Woodcock

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.,,,,,,,,,,